Je suppose que vous pouvez dire.

Que j'ai problèmes d'insécurité. Big time.

Quitter le Merde

i guess you can say that i don't have the balls to tell this to you guys, but one day i will, believe me, that day will come. until then i will stick to this and even possibly leaving you random letters. hm... maybe.

here it goes...
what are you guys doing with your lives? like, seriously. you both had so much going for you. you guys were supposed to go to college. i don't even know who you guys are any more. constantly getting drunk or high or having meaningless sex. what happened to your sense of moral? i wish i could just walk up to you guys and slap some sense into you. would you at six years old even approve of what you're doing. what about your future children- with all do respect, if you are even alive long enough to have children, what will they think of what you're doing now? would you approve if they started this same bull shit. please, pardon my language, but c'mon, get your act together. i say these things to you guys with the deepest sense of love and affection. i really care about you guys. I'm just tired of seeing you throw your life away. this life is a precious, FRAGILE gift and I'd really hate to see you ruin it and toss it down the drain. i love you guys too much to let you do this to yourselves.

Hey Rube. C'est un appel à l'action.

Eternity is calling, but they can't even hear the call to answer it.

Le Temps de Vivre

I'm all huddle with no break. I'm all talk with no walk. I'm the welcome mat that refuses to be trampled over, but doesn't mind being stepped on. It's time for me to really do something; time to prove to this world that I'm not joking anymore. Too many wasted could've, should've, would'ves. I will no longer allow myself to be a blank canvas. My paints are out and I'm ready to create something the world will never forget. I'm tired of asking for help and not getting it from the people I need it from most. Vas te faire encule! Aujourd'hui est le mien pour le prélèvement, il est temps que je commencer à vivre!

[Insert Title Here]

Note: This will not make sense.

I guess you could say things are starting to look up. I feel so blessed to have the people I have in my life. Honestly, where would i be without them? --Let's not answer that question. Yes? Good! So, these last couple of weeks have been less than desirable. Depression is really nothing to joke about. Depression is everyday life for me; it's real. My small group leader, and great friend, summed up my feelings for depression in a few short words: "Depression is like a hug from an old friend..." And to be completely honest, it is. It's what i know best. Even when things are great, I always know in the back of my mind that things can't stay this good forever. It's just this ominous cloud following closely behind waiting for me to trip, to quickly catch up and make me feel inferior for a while.
I thank God for the friends i have every night. I'm glad they feel they can trust me with everything. But some times it's just too much for me. I love helping my friends, I really do, but sometimes I feel as if people expect way too much from me; I'M ONLY ONE PERSON! Not only does the pressure to always have it together effect me mentally, but physically. Through this whole ordeal, i have not been able to have a good nights sleep in over 4 months and on top of that, I'm just barely starting to eat how i used to. Yes, things are getting better, but it's still going to take some time. I guess that's all I can ask for, right? Cool.