College. To say that I am both happy and excited for all of my friends to begin their new lives as college students and venture into the world of adulthood would be an understatement. It's such a huge leap of faith and I admire them so. They all have worked so hard to get there and I am so proud of them. But to say the thought of my friends leaving scares me would be an even bigger understatement. I depend on them far too much for it to be considered by any means healthy or rational. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying to learn to lean on God more, I am. But I don't think I'm strong enough to win this battle on my own. Maybe this is God presenting me with the opportunity to learn to stand on my own two feet? Maybe it's time for me to take the incentive and make an actual effort for myself and get better on my own. Who the he'll knows? But what I do know is that today, everything hit me with the weight of a freight train. To be honest, I'm scared to death. They're all leaving, they're doing great things with their lives, but I'm being left behind. I sound pathetic. Really. I did this to myself.
I just don't want them leave.
